After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
