all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
