I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
