Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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