Your tits are I can't wait for
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
