Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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