Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
