when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
