Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
