should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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