Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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