the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
this is an emotional support booty call
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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