I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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