Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize