My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
