How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
