could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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