if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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