i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
