were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
