I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
