only if we run a train.
done.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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