went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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