last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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