I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
