Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
