Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize