dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
