I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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