Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
