So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
