after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize