Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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