come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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