does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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