What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
