My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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