my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
