I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I lost the right to judge tonight
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
