I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
