meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
