ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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