best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
soo... how was my night?
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