It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
