Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
