There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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