good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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