Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
