The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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