I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
