He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
