babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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