So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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