I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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