just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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