Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
