Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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