I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i've created a new STD.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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