how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
