i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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