therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize