He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Found the puke drawer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
